Linda Camacho – The Prospect Agency

 

LindaCamachoProspect

Linda Camacho joined Prospect Agency in 2015 with a decade of publishing experience. After graduating from Cornell University, Linda interned at Simon & Schuster and Writers House literary agency, and worked at Penguin and Random House before making the move to agenting. She has an MFA in creative writing from the Vermont College of Fine Arts.

 

She’s seeking middle grade, young adult, and adult fiction across all genres (particularly romance/women’s fiction). In terms of romance, she’s actively building her list and is on the hunt for sexy stories that keep her up past her bedtime. She’d love to see more diversity–like plus-sized heroines, multicultural casts, LGBTQ characters, disabled characters, etc (#ownvoices all the better!).

Pitch will be read: August 15, 2017

Pitching Guidelines can be found HERE.

Please post your Pitch in the Comments section below in this format:

TITLE:
GENRE:
WORD COUNT:
AUTHOR:

PITCH (under 200 words):

Comments

  1. Even knowing we would be using protection. In front of me
    and in full view of the now busy bar.

  2. Nonsense I can walk- . I hadn t worn these for a while.

  3. Virlana Kardash says:

    TITLE: Susanna Bailey and The Bag of Unknowns
    GENRE: Commercial Women’s Fiction, Suspense
    WORD COUNT: 81,000
    AUTHOR: VIrlana Kardash

    Susanna Bailey and The Bag of Unknowns is a sexy, sophisticated page turner.
    Fish-out-of-water court reporter Susanna Bailey finds stolen, classified information in her bag and the body of a witness on a Washington, D.C. park bench. Overnight, her life is torn apart as she untangles a treacherous web of espionage and wrongdoing. Her perilous journey takes her to Annapolis, Maryland and the gates of the Naval Academy.

    To complicate matters, Susanna, a 47-year-old widow, becomes embroiled in a steamy affair with sexy, dangerous Naval Intelligence officer Robert Crowell. Bound by secrecy, he can’t tell her that he is in the midst of a Department of Defense cover up and in a race against time to avert a catastrophe and retrieve a memory stick and illegal aerial photographs before they fall into enemy hands.

    As their affair progresses, the questions mount, and Susanna doesn’t know what to believe and whom to trust. How far will certain parties go to silence Susanna, and will she have the strength to do the right thing no matter the cost? Is Robert the best thing that’s ever happened to her or her worst nightmare?

    • Hi Virlana!

      I recommend cutting the opening line: “Susanna Bailey and The Bag of Unknowns is a sexy, sophisticated page turner.” That’s more telling versus showing. Like, if you’re telling me it’s funny without making me laugh, it’s not as strong. You’re already giving hints of a sexy read, so keep bringing that out with the rest of the description to bring it home.

      Give me more on Susannah–Fish out of water? In what way? How is her life torn apart, specifically (give at least an example of one of the big things that happens to her). You mention in the second paragraph that she’s a 47-year-old widow, but mention that in the opening paragraph, when we first meet her.

      Stay away from generic language–What’s the catastrophe? What’s the thing they’re trying to avoid? By giving me a little bit more, you’ll hook me more.

      Keep at it!

      All Best,
      Linda

  4. TITLE: Difference and Repetition
    GENRE: Contemporary Queer Romance
    WORD COUNT: 88,000
    AUTHOR: Rain Merton

    PITCH (under 200 words):

    Zhang Wei (25) feels trapped between career and familial expectations. Managing his family’s Hakka restaurant prevents him from fulfilling his dream of cooking haute Cantonese cuisine and breaking into the competitive Toronto culinary scene. While his circle of close friends has started as a LGBTQIA support group in Cooking College, Wei is not out to his parents, who pressure him into starting his own family. So timing could not be worse for meeting Trent Mbassi (32), an investment banker from Montréal on a 6-month contract in Toronto.

    Two years of loneliness after an eight-year marriage have brought Trent to Canada’s financial capital for a new life and the guarantee of a promotion on his return. Instead of certainties, however, Toronto responds with questions about his choice of pursuing a lucrative career in high finance, rather than his dream of writing poetry. These uncertainties open up the Pandora’s Box of his past to reveal the truce he made to appease his immigrant parents, and trap him in a spiral of repeat mistakes. To do things differently, Trent has to choose between his new lover and his responsibility at home. And that is no choice at all.

    Thank you for your consideration.

  5. Frances Mullally says:

    Title: Start Again

    Genre: Contemporary Romance

    Length: 65,323 words

    Author: Ann Kingsdale

    Rena felt lonely during her marriage, and that is why, when her husband died, although she was sad, she also felt relieved. When a good friend suggested she come for a visit to Italy, Rena decided to go. It would be a way to escape her feelings of guilt; and as long as nobody found out how she really felt, it would all be okay.

    Carl was in Italy on a work transfer. Spurned in love twice, he was not looking for anything but time to advance his career, and enjoy the sights and sounds of Italy with his colleagues.

    During an adventurous escapade, Rena and Carl meet and their instant attraction to each other is palpable. As Rena battles with fears and memories of her marriage, Carl is there to help pick up the pieces and the two become entwined in an emotional and physically passionate affair.

    When a hidden secret reveals, it threatens the new love the two share, and Rena and Carl are forced to confront shattered dreams from the past. Will Rena and Carl be able to move past the hidden truths or will fate intervene and take it all away?

    • Hi Frances,

      I love foreign set romances! Always a good read 🙂

      This has some UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN vibes, so play up what makes this story unique. Again, like many pitches, this is quite general, where the woman goes to romantic foreign place to make a fresh start, meets handsome stranger, and conflicts ensue. That’s the great meat of the story, but you want to flesh it out. Rena has some relief at her husband’s death, so talk about that a little more. Why would she have fears about her relationship that would cause turmoil when getting together with Carl. Give me more on Carl. He was spurned, but in what way? What makes him so gun shy? Everything from the point of “During an adventurous escapade…” is reading as filler, something that could apply to many romances. Be more specific about their conflicts, their secrets. What’s at stake? What could tear them apart?

      All Best,
      Linda

  6. Title: Still Water

    Genre: Paranormal Romantic Mystery Thriller

    Word Count: 64,000 words

    Author: Stephanie Bedwell-Grime

    Callista Collins sees dead people, including the curmudgeonly ghost inhabiting her trailer. So the last thing she wants is to be pulled into a supernatural investigation by her ex, police detective Tully Marten.

    But when shapeshifters start going missing and strange bones start piling up in the swamp, she can’t say no. It doesn’t hurt that she’s attracted to the new investigator on the team, sexy shapeshifter, Hunter Cole.

    When Hunter discovers the shifter teen is about to be sacrificed in an ancient ritual, the trio find themselves in a fight for their lives.

    Thank you so much for considering Still Water.

    • Hi Stephanie!

      In terms of genre, I’m guessing this is a paranormal adult romance (paranormal adult romance is starting make a slow comeback, though the market is still a tough one). Looking at the Paranormal Romantic Mystery Thriller, it wasn’t clear at first because that’s a lot of genres there. Just because a story has several elements, it doesn’t necessarily means it falls within that genre–i.e., a mystery that has some romance (romance that’s there, though not part of the main plot doesn’t necessarily make it a romance novel, if that makes sense?

      My question is usually this: How does this stand out? What is going to make an editor go, “This is something I gotta read!” You like have that within the manuscript itself, but it’s not coming out in the pitch, which is much too general. Flesh this out a bit. Callista has specific backstory, so for instance, why doesn’t she want to help in the investigation? Be more specific in terms of what happened to her in terms of ghostly apparitions. What are the stakes? The shifter teen comes out of nowhere, so what’s this ritual? Be more specific.

      All Best,
      Linda

  7. Title: The India Diaries
    Book One: Tiger’s Rock
    Genre: YA
    Length: 98,000 words
    Author: Kelly Watt

    The India Diaries are a series of journals that chronicle the sexual and spiritual awakening of a young woman in India. Book One is Tiger’s Rock. In this first diary, Belinda March, a lonely, high school dropout, is shipped off to missionary school in 1970s India, where she finds her voice and overcomes her isolation through friendship with a group of misfit Anglo-Indian girls and an Indian musical guru.

    Belinda goes to India hoping to escape her past. After she tells on her abusive schizophrenic stepfather, her parents separate, and Belinda spends a year in self-imposed isolation, hiding in her room, drinking and reading. Feeling alone and guilty for telling, she struggles to express herself, rarely says what she means or means what she says, and instead air types her real thoughts. After her mother issues an ultimatum, she agrees to go away to boarding school. Soon after she arrives in the Himalayas, Belinda is stung by a scorpion and her roommate kicks her out. Finally, she makes friends with Chandika Jones, the charismatic Anglo-Indian leader of a group of wayward girls. Chandika encourages Belinda to be herself. Overnight Belinda blossoms into Billie. She learns Hindi, takes sitar lessons with the mysterious Sri Mukkherji, and scrambles around the Himalayan mountainside, experimenting with drugs and eastern spirituality. Eventually, she finds the courage to share with her girlfriends about her troubled years at home, her terror of boys, and her doubts about her own sexuality. But freedom proves illusive in mid-1970s India. The story unfolds under the shadow of Indira Gandhi’s emergency rule. While Billie is learning to speak her truth, Indira Gandhi is silencing the opposition and throwing them in jail. Soon the oppressive sting of Emergency affects all their lives in ways Billie could never have imagined.

    This multi-cultural YA novel echoes themes from a Passage to India and Speak. Although the story takes place in the 1970s, Belinda struggles with contemporary teenage dilemmas.

    Kelly Watt’s short fiction has won awards, been published internationally, and was longlisted in CBC Radio’s Short Fiction Contest (2015). She has published two books—the novel Mad Dog (2001) a Globe and Mail notable book, and the travel memoir Camino Meditations (2014). She loves to travel and has lived in France, Mexico and India. She completed her last year of high school at a boarding school in the Himalayas and spent two years in India, an experience she drew upon for this book.
    Dhanyavad (Thank you in Hindi) for reading this query.

    • Hi Kelly,

      It’s an intriguing story, so what I recommend is cutting the pitch down by a lot. My impulse is to do an initial skim of a query, so if it doesn’t hold up to that, it would do with revising. Right now, it’s reading a bit more like a book report of things happening, since you’re giving me a rundown of the story. Writing a pitch is SO tough, so I completely understand why it can be a tricky thing to write. In many writers’s minds, they’re trying to condense a whole book into a few paragraphs. However, that’s not the point of a pitch/query. You want to give me a sense of the context, who the character is, what they want, what the obstacle is, and what’s at stake. That’s the just of a query and much of it falls within the first 30ish pages or so.

      Start there. Ask yourself what the overall thrust of the story is and it’ll be a good place to brainstorm what’s important in your manuscript.

      Hope this helps!
      Linda

  8. Title: Chance

    Genre: YA Contemporary

    Length: 45,000 words

    Author: Roberta Lynn

    When the privileged, white daughter of the Chief of Police is paired up on a crucial school project with a cynical black youth trying to escape a criminal past, sparks fly—in more ways than one…

    Ashleigh is an upper-middle class, 17-year-old high school student, whose father is the city’s Chief of Police. She dreams of becoming a lawyer, but will need to maintain straight ‘A’ status throughout her final year in order to be accepted to law school.

    By chance, and to her utter despair, Ashleigh is partnered on a major research assignment with Chance Kenny, a hunky, ‘bad-boy’ student on probation, with an arrogant streak she finds infuriating, a reputation she finds disturbing, and eyes she finds irresistible.

    For Chance, being paired up with Ashleigh is a cruel twist of fate, as she represents the epitome of the social structure he despises and blames for his struggles and lack of opportunities. Though he tries his best to hate her, he’s thwarted by his traitorous attraction and growing affection for her.

    With the odds already heavily stacked against them, things get exponentially worse: Ashleigh’s father forbids her from associating with Chance, and Chance’s younger brother instigates violent protests against the police.

    Can the inexorable force that draws Ashleigh and Chance together together overcome the opposing pressures that threaten to tear them apart?

    • Hi Roberta,

      This is kind of another tricky one. What it comes back to is how do we take this narrative and show that it stands out from the current market? How do you take stereotypes and turn them on their head? Because in this pitch, the characters are falling into the usual stereotypes I see in queries. If you’re playing with stereotypes, try and indicate how these characters go against the grain as well.

      (Also, just a heads up that the word count is a little low, so try to break into the 50,000s to be in the safe zone.)

      All Best,
      Linda

  9. Title: Mortal Enemies

    Genre: YA Paranormal

    Length: 67,000 words

    Author: Roberta Lynn

    A Faerie and a Djin. Mortal Enemies. But when they’re forced to work together to thwart an ancient curse that could spark an apocalyptic war among supernatural forces, the quest that sweeps them half-way around the world draws them closer and closer, fueling a mutinous passion, and blurring the line between love and hate…

    SHAYLEE McCAFFERY is supposed to be in Paris, having the time of her life with the crème de la crème of Rosedale High. Instead, she’s running for her life in the swarming, sweltering streets of New Delhi, India, with AMAR KHAN—a brooding, confirmed loser she wouldn’t be caught dead associating with under normal circumstances.

    But, these are far from normal circumstances…

    Since stumbling across an old trunk in her attic, not only has Shaylee unearthed a shocking secret about her family heritage, she’s awoken an ancient curse that’s been dormant for over a century and a half. Now, it’s up to her to stop it, and save the world from the wrath of the Elementals—opposing spiritual entities representing the four existential elements: earth, air, wind, and fire. The trouble is, she doesn’t have a clue how…

    Amar seems to be the only one who can help, but, despite Shaylee’s totally infuriating and ever intensifying attraction to him, deep down, she’s not quite sure she can trust him. Then again, does she really have a choice?

    • Hi Roberta,

      YA paranormal is still a tricky market, though I’m starting to see editors do less shuddering when I talk to them about it (One for our side!) It’s slowly (slowly, slowly) coming back and if a paranormal story becomes big all of a sudden, editors will clamor for it sooner than later, I’m thinking.

      I’d rewrite the first paragraph because it’s very vague. As an agent, when I see all the tropey language used (ancient curse, supernatural forces, apocalyptic war) without the specificity, I tend to pass. It’s a good concept, but I really want to see what makes this stand out from what’s out there currently. I love tropes (Since I love genre fiction, that’s definitely a given), so in this pitch, revise it to show me you’re taking a trope and turning it on its head. If Shaylee is a Chosen one of sorts, how does your story alike but different from what you’ve read?

      All Best,
      Linda

  10. TITLE: The Botanist’s Daughter
    GENRE: Historical Romance
    LENGTH: 98,000 words
    AUTHOR: Sharon Clare

    Hello Linda,

    The Botanist’s Daughter takes place in 1724 in New France. Reanne Tibeau fights to prove herself in a man’s world by pursuing her dream to study botany. When fur traders welcome her on a voyage through the backwoods, her confidence grows until she learns they need a bride to validate their trade contract.

    To escape the traders, she runs with Wakashon, their Indian guide, a beautiful man who enlightens her with his perspective and encourages her theories on healing. Although he pushes her to follow her dream, he also endangers her life with his quest to stop the brandy trade into Indian country. There’s no safe haven for Reanne with the Anishnabe people. She struggles against jealousy, betrayal, the secrets Wakashon keeps, and the traders who are hell bent on stealing her back.

    Their common struggle against societal customs becomes a fight for forbidden love until Reanne makes a brutal choice that could prove Wakashon right in his belief he is fated to lose everyone he loves.

    Thank you for your consideration,

    Sharon Clare

    • Hi Sharon,

      Intriguing! Historical romance is always a treat 🙂

      Since the love interest in Native American, you want to be tread cautiously. You might have already had authenticity reads, but if you haven’t, I highly recommend it (Though if this is #ownvoices, yay!). Stories written about Native Americans from outside perspectives can fall into stereotypes, so it’s best to be aware of that, especially because the love interest here doesn’t seem to have an identified tribe (I’d put that in here) and he’s very much a healer and enlightener of sorts, which is something usually associated with Native Americans. Also, I didn’t get a sense of him at all as a fully realized character, so be sure to make it clear who he is in this pitch–What’s his goal and internal conflict?

      All Best,
      Linda

  11. TITLE: Escape to Eden

    GENRE: Contemporary Romance

    WORD COUNT: 50,000

    AUTHOR: Kate Randle

    PITCH:

    The only thing that Hannah Rosedale’s “girl next door” reputation has gotten her is heartbreak. After another attempt at true love results in a catfishing scam, Hannah travels to Mexico in desperate need of a chance to reevaluate.

    Free-spirit Jordan Eden is the resort manager where Hannah travels on her trip. In their forced proximity, sparks fly when these opposites attract. There’s just one little problem. Jordan is playing a game of bait and switch. It’s true that he’s been working in Mexico, but he’s actually a billionaire and the co-owner of a chain of luxury resorts. After living in the shadow of his twin brother all his life, Jordan wants to prove to the world and himself that he is capable of successfully renovating the resort without using his family name and influence.

    When Hannah finds out about his true identity, Jordan no longer has the luxury of mixing business with pleasure. He’s forced to make a sacrifice for the chance to win back Hannah’s heart. But will it be enough to earn her trust once and for all?

    Thank-you for taking the time to consider this project.

    Kate Randle

    • Hi Kate,

      Strong pitch! You get right to it and give me an idea about who the characters before the sparks start to fly.

      I’d recommend revising the last paragraph, the one that begins with “When Hannah finds out about his true identity…” It’s good, but you can make this last bit pop more. It’s a bit too vague because while romance it reliant on tropes (I mean, that’s why we love them!), you want to be more specific to make it stand out. Can you hint at what kind of sacrifice you mean, for instance?

      With just a little tweaking, you’ll get there!

      All Best,
      Linda

  12. Title: Free to Love

    Genre: Women’s Fiction with Romantic Elements

    Length: 60,000 words

    Author: Judy Malcolm

    In the village of Szihalom, Hungary in 1956, peasant farmer Istvan Farkas meets the new nurse and is blindsided by love.

    Juliska Pekar, about to start her medical career, soon takes on another role–aiding Istvan in the fight for freedom.

    Russian tanks rumble through the streets and the hangman readies a noose for Istvan’s neck. Together Juliska and Istvan escape across a heavily guarded border into Austria–finally free but unaware that danger still follows.

    • Hi Judy,

      Interesting!

      What I recommend is giving this some meat. It’s too bare bones, so I wasn’t sure what the context of the story was. Give me the set up in a line or so to start. What’s going on? It sounds like there’s political turmoil, but what exactly? Then introduce each character by giving me an idea of what they each want (the goal). For instance, indicate that Istvan is a freedom fighter when you introduce him and what stake he has in his quest. Same with Juliska–What causes her to aid Istvan? What’s her stake in this?

      Flesh it out and you might have something here!

      All Best,
      Linda

  13. TITLE: STILETTO SISTERHOOD
    GENRE: Commercial Womens Fiction
    WORD COUNT: 98,000 Words
    AUTHOR: Fallon DeMornay

    23 year old Priyanka Seth has always been a girl with a plan. Arriving hungover and panty-less to a life changing interview, was definitely not part of it.

    Eight years ago, she and her girlfriends swore a vow of Sisterhood built upon the code: Chase dreams, not boys (or girls). A code she’s lived by. As one of Harvard law’s magna cum laudes, she’s determined to snatch up a coveted one-year mentor-ship with a named partner at NYC’s premier litigation law firm. The catch? She’ll have to beat out twenty junior associates for the prize like she’s in some warped episode of SUITS meets SURVIVOR.

    There’s only one junior associate who poses a true threat—and he might’ve seen her naked the night before. Possibly. Too much tequila was involved to her to know for sure. Worst part? He’s the son of the firm’s deceased founding partner—and the reason she showed up panty-less—out to prove he can earn his father’s mantle from the ground up.

    Priya isn’t afraid of hard work or getting her hands dirty, but when sparks fly between them, competitive and sexual, she will have to decide how far is she willing to go for her dreams?

    STILETTO SISTERHOOD is a feminist SEX AND THE CITY meets TRAVELLING PANTS commercial women’s fiction complete at 98,000 words, featuring a diverse/LGBT cast, told in multiple POV of Priya and her four ‘Sisters’ and will appeal to fans of Gemma Burgess and Ann Brashares.

    I am an RWA member, a Wattpad Star with a readership of 46,000. In 2016 I was twice reviewed by RT BOOK REVIEWS, featured in COSMO online magazine and a Top 3 CATHERINES finalist. I’ve recently parted ways with my agent, and am seeking new representation.

    Thank you for your time and consideration,

    Fallon

    • Hi Fallon,

      Sounds like fun! Editors are looking for more fun stories these days, finally!

      It’s a strong pitch, so I’d say to tweak your comp titles a bit. They’re very good, but unless the story really is like those titles on the nose, put in one that’s a little more recent. In the end, you might wind up back with these, but play around some more with them to see if there’s something else that fits (Perhaps SEX AND THE CITY meets THE HATING GAME–That one came to mind, though you’d know better the tone of your story.) I think what tripped me up with the Traveling Pants comp was that there wasn’t an item passed along in this story per se, right? Either way, try for something more recent, if possible.

      Good luck with this!

      All Best,
      Linda

  14. Title: STAGE FRIGHT

    Genre: Paranormal Romantic Mystery Thriller

    Length: 80,000-words

    Author: Diane L. Kowalyshyn

    Unrequited love catapults gifted actress, Skye Andrews off the stage and into the real world—a world filled with more drama than her Broadway performances.

    Skye’s pragmatic nature always made her question the eccentric ramblings of Bessie, a dear aunt and soothsaying Sibyl. Once Bessie passes, Skye travels to the UK to fulfill her executor’s duties toting her aunt’s ashes and journal written in an undecipherable archaic script. Skye soon believes there might have been some truth to the wild claims when Bessie’s arcane brooch unlocks the journal and acts like a looking glass to illuminate parallels between her life and her aunt’s.

    She runs into a snag trying to inter Bessie’s ashes. Skye requires official approval to open the lair and add another inscription to the family headstone that already has two—a decision must be made by Captain Jet Dalry, a wounded soldier recuperating from an accident that’s left him in a quandary about his manhood—a man who despite their mutual attraction, doesn’t want to be loved. And then there’s a bunch of unexplained accidents the journal brings into clearer focus—unexplained accidents throughout Skye’s career that under the journal’s microscope appear anything but random.

    Every glimpse into the journal affords more information about Skye’s past and soon she uses her wiles to manipulate fate to save the enigmatic Jet from martyrdom and a gun-toting obsessed fan—the man responsible for the accidents; her psychotic stalker.

    • Hi Diane,

      Nice start!

      What you’ll want to do is tighten this up. As I did my initial skim, the story is a little unclear. I had to go back a few times to re-read. You don’t need the opening intro line, I think. Just start straight away with Skye being an actress and pragmatic at that. Then when you talk about Bessie, be sure to be more specific about what those ramblings are. I’d need to get a hint of it so I can start to see the shape of Skye’s journey and, ultimately, the beginning of the stakes. Stakes are also important in terms of Bessie’s interment. Give me a better sense of why it’s so important to get that inscription on the headstone? Lastly, give me a little more on the Captain. Is he not likely to want to help Skye? What’s his stake in this?

      All Best,
      Linda

  15. Title: FLASH DRIVE

    Genre: Romantic Mystery Thriller

    Length: 80,000-words

    Author: Diane L. Kowalyshyn

    When Julia Connelly arrives in Boothbay Harbour, she becomes the new office manager of New England Air, her father’s flailing air transport business. Her father is recuperating from surgery and the still–lingering effects a broken heart because his girlfriend and secretary left a few months ago, in the middle of the night, without so much as a good-bye.
    Months ago, to protect his sister, Sloan Picard, Special Forces sniper on medical leave, procures a job as a NEA pilot and in no time determines the small air carrier has more than a DC3 full of financial trouble. He suspects they’re flying illegal contraband into the States from South America.

    Sloan and Julia’s mutual attraction proves too strong to resist and when Sloan is forced to make an emergency landing in the Cessna, he realizes he must tell her who he really is. Working as a team, they fly the DC3 from Maine’s rugged coast to the jungles of Peru where they discover their main client isn’t involved in a smuggling operation; he’s in the fantasy business. He provides a safe and secluded environment to satisfy his client’s unusual sexual proclivities and, now and then, he covers up their deadly mistakes.

    For a price.

    When Sloan and Julia turn the tables—these savvy investigators don’t stop until justice prevails.

    • Hi Diane,

      Good pitch! Gotta love those sexy pilots 🙂

      From the first paragraph, I’d cut: “Her father is recuperating from surgery and the still–lingering effects a broken heart because his girlfriend and secretary left a few months ago, in the middle of the night, without so much as a good-bye.” Definitely mention the surgery and how that affects Julia, but the detail about the girlfriend and the secretary made me question whose story it was, given that it’s something that deals more with her dad than Julia. If there’s something more to it, though, then you’ll want to clarify. I have a vague notion that she’s caring for her dad, but what else? Give me something a bit more to give me a better sense of Julia as a character.

      Same thing when you get to Sloane. We have his mission, but I don’t quite know what’s driving him as character. All you need is a line so I can have a glimpse. Knowing our characters will allow them to set sparks off each other because I’ll know their internal; conflict in addition to the external, which is heavier here. Remember, you want to answer the question of “Why Should I Care?” for the reader. If a reader is intrigued by the characters, they’ll go anywhere with them.

      Good luck with this!

      All Best,
      Linda

  16. Title: Woe to the Wicked

    Genre: Women’s Fiction

    Length: 65,000 words

    Author: Judy Malcolm

    After being laid off, lab tech June Harber is grateful for a new job, even if it’s in pathology—the body parts department. But her gratitude diminishes when the other techs start giving her a hard time and a doctor keeps looking at her in funny ways with his vibrant blue eyes.

    Pathologist, Dr. Aram Hamid doesn’t expect his desire for the new technologist to override his logic. Initially, June resists Aram’s advances but soon she can’t deny her attraction . They fall into a deep, unfathomable love neither have experienced before, until now. With Aram, June is the happiest she’s ever been.

    Often the greatest highs trigger the lowest lows. Lethal lab errors force June to blow the whistle on a co-worker. Hated and targeted, Junes fears for her life. She needs Aram more than ever, but he unexpectedly breaks up with her and leaves town. June curses the day she got the job. Will she ever catch the person terrorizing her? And will her shattered heart ever love again?

    • Hi Judy,

      Interesting pitch! I have to say, the line about the body parts department is intriguing 🙂

      What I first noticed about the pitch is that I didn’t quite get a sense of June as a character. She’s laid off from her job and lands herself a new one, albeit one she might not be thrilled with, so why would a doctor with vibrant blue eyes make her less grateful? Wouldn’t it have the opposite effect? If she’s not looking for a relationship or whatever reason, you’d want to clarify that beforehand. Why does June resist Aram’s advances?

      I’d cut out these lines: “They fall into a deep, unfathomable love neither have experienced before, until now. With Aram, June is the happiest she’s ever been.” They don’t really tell me anything. You want to be more specific in terms of the plot and what their internal struggles are that are keeping them apart. It’s sounding much too vague, since I already expect them to fall for each other. given the genre. Be more specific about their internal struggle, then go into the outer conflict, which you want to be more specific about as well. Explain beyond a co-worker “terrorizing” her. How?

      Keep at it–You’ll get there!

      All Best,
      Linda

Post Your Pitch

Powered by Netfirms